World May Forget War’s Missing, but Families Still Suffer

For almost two hours, Gladys L. Fleckenstein had listened quietly, intently during a meeting Sunday of a national organization of families of prisoners of war and those missing in action in Vietnam.

But finally Fleckenstein had to get something off her chest. Another Valentine’s Day had passed and still no word from the government about her son, Naval Air Cmdr. Larry James Stevens, who was shot down over Vietnam on Valentine’s Day of 1969. Stevens would be 44 this year.

After 18 years of denials, non-denials and vague truths, the Big Bear Lake woman said, “I really feel frustrated in my heart.

“I feel that another year has gone by, and still--nothing.”

Indeed, were it not for groups such as the National League of Families of American Prisoners and Missing in Southeast Asia, which met Sunday at the Friends Church in Yorba Linda, Fleckenstein and others who mourn for missing loved ones would be alone.

Every three or four months, members of the Southern California chapter meet and share warm handshakes and embraces that serve, in a sense, as therapy.

“The families need to meet to share information and their frustrations. They need to see and believe that there is hope for progress,” said Judie Taber of La Habra, the league’s California coordinator.

Nationally, the league has more than 3,000 family members and another 2,000 who are concerned volunteers.

“Some of us have been meeting so long that we are like family,” Taber said Sunday. “Even though we disagree on how we could find out whether our loved ones are alive, we still love one another.”

Many of the 30 or so people gathered in the Yorba Linda church had traveled long distances to attend Sunday’s meeting. Some were from Camarillo, North Hollywood and Glendora. One man said he drove all night from Coarsegold, Calif., near Yosemite National Park, because “it’s that important. There are people still alive over there.”

Hard to Remain Optimistic

During meetings they chat, share notes, and talk about recent news reports on the POW-MIA issue. Briefings, petitions, and prisoner-related poetry are always available on nearby tables.

The hardest part for the families is remaining optimistic. Especially when the public’s mood on POWs and MIAs shifts to hostility, Fleckenstein and others said.

Fleckenstein said a San Francisco radio commentator recently said the United States should give up searching for U.S. soldiers who still may be alive. Some anti-war activists tell them their sons or brothers “deserved it.”

“We can’t give up the struggle,” Taber said. “We know we’re at the mercy of what Vietnam agrees to or decides not to do. But we’ve got to maintain a fervent stand despite all this.”

While many members encourage a more critical stance on the U.S. government’s efforts on the POW issue, Taber has argued for a sensitive approach.

Especially when “the United States has the means, but (Vietnam) is holding the key,” she said.

So far, Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia will not admit they are holding any U.S. POWs. However, 1 1/2 years ago, those countries did acknowledge that there was a “remote possibility” that some men still could be held in remote areas.

Within the last year, the United States and Vietnam had talks involving a two-year cooperative program and establishing a POW information office in Ho Chi Minh City, but Vietnamese officials backed off, Taber said.

“When Vietnam sees an advantage, they do something. Maybe they’re thinking that if they hold on until Reagan leaves, they’ll make a deal with someone else,” Taber added.

Glimmers of Hope

There have been glimmers of hope, they said, noting the reported release of French prisoners from Vietnam in the 1960s, years after a 1954 peace treaty with the French and North Vietnamese was signed.

And in Southern California, league members point with pride to recent city hall flag-raising ceremonies in Pomona, Fontana, Upland, Riverside, Claremont and Montclair. City officials, who only a few years ago believed the POW issue was not a local but a federal issue, have agreed to fly the black-and-gray POW-MIA flag until “our loved ones return home,” Taber said.

Yet popular movies like “Platoon” written and directed by Oliver Stone, have recently rekindled some of the public’s emotions and attitudes about the Vietnam War.

Ron (Red) Burdett Sr., 38, a Vietnam veteran from Coarsegold, challenged Stone’s version of soldiers who, in one scene, rape and murder Vietnamese villagers.

As a result, Burdett said, his teen-age son had to defend his father’s actions in Vietnam and tell classmates his father is “a nice man.”

Facing league members, Burdett said, “It’s people like you that must go out and re-educate the people.”

“A lot of U.S. citizens want to have the Vietnam War done and gone with. I even thought that way once. But the frustration I hear at many of these meetings seems to be focused at Judie (Taber) or other league officials.

“You have to take the initiative to question people. You must challenge and ask Congress not to forget our men--our brothers in Vietnam.”