GETTIN’ AHEAD IN HOLLYWOOD

People often wonder what it takes to succeed in Hollywood. After working around (but with no aspirations to be in) the movie industry for 20 years, I think I can offer some suggestions:

Nepotism. If you’re related to a famous actor, director, or producer, you will always work. Of course, those so blessed will swear they made it on their own merit. Don’t believe it.

Pass the Bar. Since lawyers occupy most of Hollywood’s power positions, doors shut to others will open easily for you, if you’re a member of the club.

Obtain a degree from a prestige school. An exceptionally valuable asset; status symbols and pretension are rampant in the film business.

Be an arrogant, aggressive egotist. In normal society you would be shunned. In Hollywood, you will find many friends and peers.

Have a knack for gimmicks and one-liners. The soul of Tinseltown.

If you comfortably fit into several of these categories, your future in the industry is limitless. If you can’t squeeze into any of the above, you still might make it with talent, luck and perseverance. Just don’t count on it.

DON DAVIS

Northridge