Children Learn How to Ask for Help

The Children of Divorce Intervention Program is designed to work within the school system to help children adjust to divorce.

Meeting once a week in small groups with a school psychologist, teacher or nurse, children are encouraged to talk about their feelings and share strategies to cope, founder JoAnne Pedro-Carroll says. The courses last about 12 to 16 weeks and are geared according to the child’s age, (from 5 to 12).

“The skills we focus on are how to express anger and how to ask for help,” she says.

Depending on their ages, children use role-playing, books, a therapeutic board game and storytelling to express feelings and find solutions. Parents can request that the child enter the program or the child can ask to participate. The initial fear that children attending the program would feel stigmatized has been unfounded, Pedro-Carroll says.

“I think the fact that it’s held in school helps. School is a natural setting for something like this,” she says. “Children end up feeling a sense of camaraderie.”

Several follow-up studies of the program strongly indicate that children who participate adjust better than those who did not participate, Pedro-Carroll says. The children reported that they were less anxious, didn’t worry as much over family circumstances, were less likely to blame themselves or anyone for the divorce, had a better understanding of divorce and were better able to solve personal problems and let go of those beyond their control.

Parents also expressed a positive change in their children. And teachers reported a decrease of problem behavior in the classroom.

“Kids were less anxious, angry and withdrawn in the classroom,” Pedro-Carroll says.