Straight Talk on AIDS : Counselor Helps Infected Heterosexuals End Isolation

Everybody who has HIV has it tough, Richard is saying, but maybe straights have it harder than gays. You feel more alone, he says, and people suspect you’re lying when you say, no, I’ve never had sex with a man and, no, I don’t shoot drugs.

Jim, a Vietnam veteran, nods in empathy.

“I told my mother,” he says. “She was telling everybody I got Agent Orange. She didn’t want anybody to think her son has AIDS.”

Richard, Jim and three other HIV-positive men were sitting in a room of a spacious old home in Mar Vista that houses the Cosmos Circle, a local nonprofit counseling program tailored for heterosexuals with the virus. They had lingered one recent evening to chat with Cosmos Circle director Mary Thompson and a visitor after their regular support group had adjourned.

There were moments, Thompson said later, that the discussion resembled the group sessions.

“Isolation and loneliness--that’s a theme that comes up often,” Thompson said. “And there’s a real sense of stigmatization. . . . Who do you tell? How do you tell them and when do you tell them?”

One person who will listen is Thompson herself, a 56-year-old retired aerospace engineer who has found a new calling in helping people cope with the human immunodeficiency virus.

HIV now infects more than 1 million people in the United States, according to estimates of the Centers for Disease Control. As HIV continues to spread into the heterosexual community, more people are certain to find their way to Cosmos Circle and Thompson.

During a 26-year career at Hughes Space and Communications in El Segundo, Thompson rose to the position of chief scientist and helped build a satellite that relayed telephone and television signals across country. Now Thompson helps put people with HIV in touch with therapists and each other to ease the acute sense of isolation.

When Earvin (Magic) Johnson disclosed in November that he had tested positive for HIV, Thompson and her clients said the public reaction was both encouraging and disheartening.

On the one hand, many heterosexuals sought HIV tests for the first time, showing that they were taking the threat more seriously.

On the other hand, rumors swirled that Johnson was bisexual--rumors that Johnson denied.

To Thompson, the rumors are a symptom of community denial. Such an attitude is one reason why she is certain she’ll never have a shortage of clients.

Last year, Thompson and her tiny agency provided services to 140 people with HIV. The groups include men and women who apparently contracted the virus in heterosexual encounters and intravenous drug use, men who had had homosexual experiences but identify themselves as heterosexual and hemophiliacs and others who were infected by blood products that carried the virus.

Founded by therapist Barbara Marinacci in 1987, Cosmos Circle has evolved into an agency that generally caters more to men than women. Last year, about 75% of its 140 clients were men, Thompson said. Many women with HIV sought services from other agencies.

This year, Cosmos Circle, which is privately funded, has expanded its hours and programs in anticipation of an influx of new clients. The program sponsors two support groups--one on Wednesday nights at the Open Paths Counseling Center in Mar Vista and one Friday nights at the Valley Community Clinic in North Hollywood. It also sponsors a creative writing workshop and provides private counseling. All services are free.

Thompson earned a counseling license 1980 in her spare time wile working at Hughes. The divorced mother of two grown daughters said she had expected to use her counseling skills helping women cope with the difficulties she experienced as a woman working in a field dominated by men. Then she became involved with Cosmos as a volunteer therapist in early 1989.

“I wasn’t using my license,” Thompson said, “and I just felt this call.”

After leaving Hughes, Thompson succeeded Marinacci as director in December, 1989. Her retirement income from Hughes is now supplemented by the $550 monthly salary she draws for running Cosmos Circle. “I try not to think what I make per hour,” she joked.

At Cosmos, “Mary picked up the ball and ran with it, and she’s expanded it further,” said a long-time client named Scott who, like others, asked that his last name not be used.

People who turn to Cosmos represent a full spectrum of the psychological process. Some express more concern about the plight of Magic Johnson than about their own health. Sometimes veterans of the support group are frustrated by the way newcomers talk about “safe subjects” like medication.

“Mary is good in that she tries to keep that to a minimum and focus on the psychological, personal aspect and how you feel,” Scott said. “But it’s tough because a lot of people don’t want to think about that. They don’t want to look at themselves.”

“Many people need to be in denial,” Thompson said.

Many people, Thompson says, respond courageously to HIV. She thinks of Scott as one example. A former IV drug user, he moved to Los Angeles from the Midwest in search of better medical treatment. Since hooking up with Cosmos, he has become a volunteer in a variety of programs helping people afflicted with HIV.