Uninquiring minds: Malibu restaurateur Dolores Walsh wants...

Uninquiring minds: Malibu restaurateur Dolores Walsh wants to bring about a boycott of the National Enquirer and other tabloids in that town as a “gift . . . to our many celebrities.”

After all, some well-known residents, like Johnny Carson, have a lot more time to peruse newspapers these days.

But Walsh, who wrote letters to a dozen outlets for the tabloids more than six weeks ago, has had only one tangible result so far: A drugstore owner moved his copies away from the counter. Undeterred, Walsh, owner of the Godmother of Malibu Cafe, plans a petition drive.

And what about Malibuites interested in Hollywood dirt? “Let them go over the hill,” she said, “and buy it in Agoura.”

Requesting anonymity: A car salesman in the community where the Rodney G. King trial was held says that customers are returning to his dealership to have their “Simi Valley” license plate frames removed.

El Lay vs. Es Eff: In an obvious southward slap, Bay Area columnist Herb Caen recently speculated that San Francisco could have the most neighborhoods sharing the names of movies. He counted eight, ranging from “Pacific Heights” to “The Mission.”

In L.A.’s defense, we must tick off: “Echo Park,” “Born in East L.A.,” “Death in Venice,” “Hollywood Shuffle,” “Chinatown,” “Wilshire Boulevard,” “MacArthur,” “West Side Story” and, the tie-breaker, the newly-released “Encino Man” (which sounds like the saga of the rise and fall of one-time resident Michael Milken).

List of the Day: One of Southern California’s many contributions to the world of literature are billboards with traffic congestion themes, including these depressing messages:

* “The 405 should be this smooth” (whiskey).

* “We interrupt this traffic jam to bring you an important reminder” (a rival city--San Diego).

* “It’s a rush at any hour” (automobile).

* “One bottle neck you’ll look forward to” (beer).

The Hollywood Beltway: From the looks of his campaign literature (see photo), Stuart Sutley, a Republican presidential hopeful, plans to transplant the nation’s capital here. Sutley is a Canoga Park man.

Will he redecorate the bed that Lincoln slept in? Sutley, by the way, is facing some competition for the local vote in the White House race. Long Beach merchant Al Greenwood pledges, if elected, to abdicate his royal title (see photo).

Real impact: Make of it what you will, but writer Betty Douglass points out that the 6.1 Desert Hot Springs earthquake struck on April 22, which was Professional Secretaries Day.

A Yugo?: Walter Houk heard a car commercial in which the radio announcer warned: “These specially priced vehicles won’t last long.”

miscelLAny:

Edgar Rice Burroughs Inc., which recently sued Vogue magazine for publishing a sexy Tarzan/Jane fashion piece, is based in Tarzana.