Van Slyke’s Poor Season Is No Joke

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette columnist Brian O’Neill has had enough of the Pirates’ Andy Van Slyke’s poor season . . . and his fat salary. He writes:

“Andy Van Slump. What a stiff. Here it is, the end of July and the Four-Million-Dollar Man has 27 RBIs. Mickey Mantle could have knocked in that many with one of his swizzle sticks.”

Trivia time: Tony Dorsett became the sixth Heisman Trophy winner inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame last week. Name the other five.

Scooter line: In his Hall of Fame induction address the other day, Phil Rizzuto broke everyone up with an account of how he nearly jumped to the Mexican League one year for a $10,000 salary and a Cadillac.

But he said his wife, Cora, told him: “You go to Mexico, you go without me.”

Added Rizzuto: “It was a time when you couldn’t get butter, you couldn’t get stockings, you couldn’t get a girdle. Not that she needed a girdle. . . . she was pretty well built.”

O’s-bound? The Baltimore Sun’s Tom Keegan, forecasting perfect-game pitcher Kenny Rogers’ value in the free-agent market, wrote:

“He’s never been on the disabled list with an arm injury, he’s 22-10 and has a 3.61 ERA since July 1, 1993, and has more wins since then than Roger Clemens, Jack McDowell, Mike Mussina, Randy Johnson and David Cone.

“Durable, experienced and a winner, he’s exactly what the Orioles need.”

For what it’s worth: A man walked around Yankee Stadium Sunday carrying a sign that on one side said: “Connie, will you divorce me?” The flip side: “Angel, will you marry me?”

In the stars: The Amateur Athletic Foundation points out that four of the 14 men who have hit 500 home runs were born in 1931: Willie Mays (660), Mickey Mantle (536), Ernie Banks (512) and Eddie Mathews (512).

Proper perspective? Glenn Dickey of the San Francisco Chronicle, musing about the threatened baseball strike:

“What if the garbage collectors go out? A week without baseball is much preferable to a week without a garbage pickup--and let’s not even talk about a month.”

Trivia answer: Earl Campbell, Paul Hornung, O.J. Simpson, Roger Staubach and Doak Walker.

Quotebook: Center John Gesek of the Washington Redskins, asked what position he’d like to play in any sport if given the choice: “Designated hitter, in a pennant race and making about $7 million a year.”