In Praise of the Women in Their Lives

The other day I heard someone mocking the famous Richard Nixon line “My mother was a saint,” from his final White House speech. I felt a twinge of sadness. I’ve always thought it was one of Nixon’s finest moments, that at a time of great crisis in his life, his thoughts turned to the woman who had been the most powerful influence on him.

Most of us likely can say that our destinies have been shaped in great part by one woman, or more: our mothers, or a sister, or a teacher. But how often have we told them? Or shared our private thoughts about them with anyone?

The Center for Women and Gender Education at UC Irvine recently put out fliers proposing that faculty, staff and students write short essays about women who have greatly influenced them. The center asked for photographs too. It created a “Women’s Hall of Fame” exhibit from the submissions for display this month, which is women’s history month.

If you happen to be on the UC Irvine campus, stop in and take a look at how it turned out. I did last week, and found many of the 50-plus pieces extraordinary. Center Director Barbara Goldsmid said I wasn’t the first to leave with a lump in my throat.

Many who participated, to no surprise, wrote about their mothers. Some were influenced by a grandmother or a sister. One wrote a nice piece about Annie Sullivan, Helen Keller’s teacher.

An impressive display was by Judy B. Rosener, a professor of the graduate school of management, who nominated three other women faculty members as worthy of the “Hall of Fame.” And by chance one of those three, Martha Mecartney, associate professor of chemical and biochemical engineering, nominated her friend Rosener. She admired Rosener, she wrote, for “her spirit at women’s meetings--pounding the table with passion--her openness, her straight talk, holding no fear for even the highest officials.”

One touching passage was written by Audrena Cheung), a senior in economics, about her close friend, Judi Q. Luu, who was killed in a traffic accident last year. Cheung wrote in part: “In the eyes of her family and friends, she was seen as a bridge builder, and someone who was able to walk the bridge.” The university is granting Luu her degree posthumously.

De Gallow, director of the Instructional Resource Center, wrote a captivating story about one of her teachers, Marjorie Cirino, whom she calls Tante: “She took me to my first ballet, play, and concert. She read my short stories and discussed books with me. She was one of the few who attended my graduation when I received my Ph.D. . . . She is my role model of the lifelong learner.”

The pieces about mothers and grandmothers were anything but predictable; I loved them all. Tran Tu Cross grew up in extreme poverty in Vietnam, where her family, which included six children, was lucky to share one orange. Her slice usually wound up with younger siblings. Her daughter, biology major Cindy Cross, wrote about her: “She sacrificed her childhood to be a second mother while my grandmother worked to support the family. My mother is my image of the ideal woman.”

Anthropology major Twyla Sauro wrote a terrific line about her mother, Paula Sauro: “My mother has the strength of one million men.”

I wish there was room to quote them all. A lot of love went into those essays. It’s impossible to read them without your thoughts going back to the women in your own life. If you want to read them, the center is on the lower level of the Gateway Commons building across from the Main Library.

Spotlight on Mentors: The Newport Beach-based Assessment and Treatment Services Center has its own people-of-influence agenda this week. The nonprofit youth counseling program will present its annual Golden Touch Awards at a breakfast Wednesday at the Tustin Ranch Golf Club. Board member Sandy Miller told me that the awards, created in 1984, are for “special individuals who have reached out with no reward in mind.”

Those to be honored this year were chosen by student committees at 16 area high schools. Most are teachers or staff or volunteers at the students’ schools. An endearing statement about Tara Kiehle, activities director and English teacher at Corona del Mar High, comes from senior Jackie Kim: “Her passion for teaching and genuine love for kids show me the pieces of the woman I want to become.”

I don’t know if a teacher could ever ask for more than what Tiffany Cooley of Hillview High School in the Tustin area said about her math teacher, Barry Turner: “Without Mr. Turner believing in me, I may never have believed in myself.”

There are two recipients from Tustin High School, Al and Gloriah Enderle. Al Enderle, who runs the Enderle Equipment Co., was a 1947 graduate of Tustin High. He and his wife spend at least 10 hours a week there, helping out with school activities or serving as chaperons. Al Enderle also provides counseling.

The program notes for the Golden Touch Awards call the Enderles “the school’s biggest fans.” Al Enderle told me he spends so much time there “because I love the kids. There isn’t a loser in the bunch.”

Wrap-Up: Among the UC Irvine essays on influential women, my favorite was the one I happened to read first. If I could write as beautifully as Jessica Brobst, who listed her affiliation as the Science Library, I might have said much the same about my own preschool-aged daughter:

“She is an incredible power in my life,” Brobst wrote about her 3-year-old, Hannah. “I feel privileged to be with her, to be influencing her, to be able to see an ever-changing world with her. To listen to her stories, to hear what she thinks about, to have her look at me and say, ‘You know what, Mommy? I love you’ and have her wrap her beautiful warm little person around me.

“But what I struggle to pinpoint about her is that she makes me feel like more than a parent--I am an evolving human being and woman, hindered and helped by one who is also growing. . . . It can only become more wonderful and crazy and interesting.”

No doubt it was people such as Jessica Brobst that the Center for Women and Gender Education had in mind when it created this project.

Jerry Hicks’ column appears Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Readers may reach Hicks by calling the Times Orange County Edition at (714) 966-7823 or by fax to (714) 966-7711, or e-mail to [email protected]