NFL TOP TO BOTTOM

1. Denver (11-2): Mini Super Bowl test the next two weeks with games at Pittsburgh, San Francisco.

2. Green Bay (10-3): Can Southern California survive an onslaught of El Nino and Cheeseheads?

3. Kansas City (10-3): If Chiefs win out and Broncos lose one more, Kansas City wins division title.

4. San Francisco (11-2): It hasn’t been a good week for Eddie DeBartolo, who was betting 49ers would go 15-1.

5. Pittsburgh (9-4): Cowher closes practice. What’s the secret? They’re going to run Bettis.

6. Jacksonville (9-4): Unless Patriots get heart transplant, Jaguars roll on.

7. Tampa Bay (9-4): Cinderella’s last chance to stiff Goliath.

8. Miami (8-5): If O.J. could still move like Lawrence Phillips, Dolphins would sign him.

9. New England (8-5): Patriots continue to play mean game of keep-away with Curtis Martin.

10. Minnesota (8-5): Dennis Green--preparing to coach Raiders--loses three in a row.

11. New York Jets (8-5): After watching O’Donnell, Parcells probably wouldn’t mind borrowing Bledsoe.

12. Detroit (7-6): Is it really necessary to have 10 other offensive players on the field with Barry Sanders?

13. Tennessee (7-7): A playoff game in Memphis might draw 1,000 more fans.

14. Dallas (6-7): What do cockroaches and Cowboys have in common? You just can’t kill them.

15. Seattle (6-7): The people in this town are used to being depressed.

16. Washington (6-6-1): If he were a politician, there would be a move to impeach Norv Turner.

17. Philadelphia (6-6-1): Bobby Hoying has effectively replaced Detmer/Peete.

18. New York Giants (7-5-1): The day is coming when someone is going to suggest: Bring back Dave Brown.

19. Carolina (6-7): Collins has concussion; team denies someone was trying to knock some sense into him.

20. Buffalo (6-7): You can see how much difference it made giving Bruce Smith the money he wanted.

21. Atlanta (5-8): Winning five games with these guys deserves coach-of-year honors.

22. New Orleans (5-8): Bubby John Hobert, or whatever Ditka is calling his QB these days, goes for two in a row.

23. Cincinnati (5-9): Esiason’s last hurrah has been a center-stage delight to behold.

24. Baltimore (4-8-1): A constant reminder to fans in Cleveland, L.A., it’s better to start fresh with an expansion team.

25. Oakland (4-9): Recent news release suggests organization should be committed--which would be an excellent move.

26. San Diego (4-9): If Gilbride is an offensive genius, how come he was too dumb to play Metcalf?

27. Arizona (3-10): Plummer is exciting; other 52 players on the roster are not.

28. St. Louis (3-10): Rams lose Lawrence Phillips, win a game. A coincidence?

29. Chicago (2-11): Bears plan on playing Mirer--their way of acquiring Manning or Leaf.

30. Indianapolis (1-12): What do you say to a 1-12 team? “Let’s go guys, let’s put it all together and go 2-12?”