LAUGH LINES
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Business Beat: Starbucks plans to open 600 more outlets. “Get the feeling the people at Starbucks are drinking too much of their own product? Try some decaf--slow down!” (Jay Leno)
On the Campaign Trail: Polls indicate Hillary Rodham Clinton’s popularity in New York is slipping. “That’s understandable: It’s hard enough for New Yorkers to be civil to a tourist, let alone vote for one.” (Alex Kaseberg)
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The Essential David Letterman
Top 10 books on the New York City schools’ summer reading list:
10. “Horton Hears a Gunshot.”
9. “The Postman Always Rings Twice . . . Then Breaks the Window and Steals Your Home Entertainment Center.”
7. “Encyclopedia Brown and the Mystery of the Dead Guy on the Subway.”
6. “Lord of the Flies, and Other Street Vendor Names.”
4. “Moby Dick’s Self-Destructive Cousin Andy Dick.”
3. “A Clockwork Orange That Reads ‘Rolex’ but Only Costs $10.”
2. “Men Are From Mars, Hillary Clinton’s From Arkansas, Damn It!”
1. “Of Mice and Doughnuts.”
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