LAUGH LINES

Way Above the Campaign Trail: “Al Gore became the first man to climb Mt. Rainier. OK, the 6,479th. This year. But the first to do it without bending his knees.” (Michael Feldman)

Far Off the Campaign Trail: Lamar Alexander has dropped out of the presidential race, and his supporters will probably go to George W. Bush or Elizabeth Dole. “All 10 of them will meet this week to decide for sure.” (Daily Scoop)

Back to the Campaign Trail: George W. Bush has dodged questions about possible cocaine use. “He’s not the only candidate with these problems. Today, there were accusations that Al Gore is on formaldehyde.” (Jay Leno)

While We’re on the Subject: “Dan Quayle said he was never once tempted by drugs--although he did admit to being cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.” (Leno)

Business Beat II: According to a study, rude behavior in the workplace is on the rise. “And don’t you forget it!” (Rudolph J. Cecera)

We Couldn’t Resist: According to astronomers, aging stars gobble up nearby planets. “Especially if those aging stars happen to be named Brando.” (Daily Scoop)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.