Are You Dreaming of a Wipe Christmas?

The holidays are always a bountiful time for messes. All those people in your house, all that spilled food, all that wiping up the next day.

But cleanup miseries aren’t reserved for December. With that in mind, the Old Farmer’s Almanac Home Library series recently came out with Christine Halvorson and Kenneth M. Sheldon’s “Clean & Simple: A Back-to-Basics Approach to Cleaning Your Home” ($13, Time-Life Books). It offers sane remedies for the soiling troubles that are sure to greet us in the new millennium.

To find the most vexing problems, we interviewed several Orange County people for their cleaning woes.

Bathroom Battles

Sarah Gomez says the bathroom in her Westminster home is her main trouble zone. Everything just seems to take more effort there, from shining the faucet to getting the grime underneath the cabinet surrounding her sink. But the most annoying are the brown stains that sometimes show up on her porcelain tub.

“I guess it happens when I don’t clean enough after soaks,” admits Gomez, 39. “Hard scrubbing is a pain 1/8and sometimes 3/8 it doesn’t even work.”

Stains are apt to be a problem, especially in areas with hard water. Remove them with a paste of cream of tartar and hydrogen peroxide. Make sure it’s thick enough to stick to the tub, then apply it with an old paintbrush. Cover the paste with damp paper towels to hold it in place. After 30 minutes, scrub it with a bathtub brush or nylon dish scrubber. A less expensive paste can be made with baking soda and peroxide, but it’s not as effective.

Out, Damn Spot

Stains on her rugs and carpet upset Caroline Foggs. She usually gets too excited when one of her three small children spills something and only makes matters worse as she frantically tries to wipe it up.

“I’m sure being patient and methodical is the best,” says Foggs, 37, of Seal Beach. “I’m neither of those things.”

Being patient and methodical is the way to go.

There’s a strategy: Start by wiping up as much of the spill as you can using the corner of a clean white cloth or paper towel. Then place another cloth over the spill to gently blot up the rest.

Sponge on a cleaning solution, but don’t scrub, because that can ruin the nap of the rug. Clean from the edge of the stain toward the center to avoid spreading it. Rinse the cleanser thoroughly or it will become a dirt magnet.

In an emergency and when you don’t have a cleaning solvent, use club soda to remove stains or work a bit of shaving cream into them. Be sure to rinse completely.

All Gummed Up

Cathleen Overy of Costa Mesa doesn’t have a problem that bugs her more than any other. She does have a story, though, involving her two kids and the family dog.

The kids were trying to chew as many sticks of gum as they could while romping with Flash, their collie. Overy looked away, and when she turned back, the youngsters had somehow ended up with gum in their hair. Flash had some matted in his coat as well.

“With kids, you don’t always ask how it happened, but how can you fix it,” says Overy, 30. “I ended up cutting it out, from my kids and Flash. The kids needed haircuts, so it didn’t really matter. And Flash is a dog, what does he care?”

To get that gum out, place ice cubes in a plastic sandwich bag, then freeze the gum by holding the bag to it. When it’s frozen, try to break it up and chip it off. Or try working olive oil, peanut butter or cold cream into the gum to loosen it. Gently comb it out. If all else fails, you may have to bring out the scissors.

What’s That, Honey?

Jess Lerner of Fountain Valley has a girlfriend. That’s the good part. The bad part is that he sometimes ends up with lipstick and other makeup on his shirt collars. He wants to know how to get out such stains without visiting the dry cleaner.

Oh, and how do you wash something like a favorite--but old and dingy--baseball cap? “It’s grubby, but I’d hate to throw it out,” says Lerner, 26. “I’ve had it for years.”

Here are some solutions, according to the book authors:

Like other greasy substances, lipstick and other makeup can be removed with something oily, such as shortening, petroleum jelly or vegetable oil. Put it on the stain and let it sit for five to 10 minutes, then wash it in warm water and laundry detergent to remove the oil. Make sure you get all the oil or you’ll just have a different stain to deal with.

For the baseball cap, wash it by hand in cool or lukewarm water with a mild liquid detergent. Then, find a bowl that is about the same size, and shape the cap over it to dry. Another trick is to clean caps in the top rack of the dishwasher, using only a small amount of dishwasher detergent. Once again, fit it over a bowl for drying.

Car Talk

Sam Higgins has a thing about his car, a sporty Lexus. Like many in Southern California, he washes and waxes it. Then washes and waxes it again. Higgins enjoys massaging his baby but does find the work difficult when removing tar, bugs and other sticky stuff.

“I usually just use 1/8regular 3/8 car washing detergent but get nervous when I have to go at it so hard,” frets Higgins, 59, of Newport Beach. “I don’t want to scratch a thing.”

Tar and other substances can be taken off by covering them with boiled linseed or vegetable oil, then rubbing with a soft cloth after letting it sit for a few minutes. Mayonnaise or WD-40 oil also works. For bugs, try a baking soda paste and a nylon scrubber, used gently. The paste is also good for polishing small nicks and scratches in the car’s finish.