LAUGH LINES
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On the Campaign Trail: Al Gore’s campaign chairman, Tony Coelho, is being accused of fiscal mismanagement when he ran the World’s Fair in Portugal last year. “Isn’t it amazing? Even Al Gore’s scandals are boring.” (Jay Leno)
Busy Signal: “MCI Buys Sprint--Nation Rejoices Over One Less Call During Dinner.” (Jon Stewart)
Busy Signal II: The MCI-Sprint deal creates a combined company called WorldCom. “Because ‘Big Evil Eavesdroppers’ would be way too obvious.” (Stewart)
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The Essential David Letterman
Things that haven’t happened in New York in 11 years:
8. My saying the words “Ralph Macchio.”
7. The “Late Show” doing something about balcony louse problem.
6. Regis Philbin sitting quietly for an hour.
5. Carol Channing having sex.
4. Me having sex.
3. Me having sex with Carol Channing.
2. Carol Channing telling me, “Don’t worry, it happens to everyone.”
1. The No. 1 on a Top 10 list actually being funny.
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