Section Gee! Advice, Humor, Comics, Horoscope, Kids : LAUGH LINES

On the Campaign Trail: Pat Buchanan is close to leaving the Republican Party. “I guess all this talk about compassion is just scaring him away.” (Jay Leno)

Speaking of Buchanan: He’s written a book in which he claims that “Hitler declared war on the United States, we did not declare war on him.” “Suggesting a little-known theory that our entire involvement in World War II was a clerical error.” (Jon Stewart)

While We’re on the Subject: “Buchanan’s book is available in hardcover or the original scrawled, madhouse diary.” (Stewart)

Weather Eye: Hurricane Hilary is moving across the Baja peninsula. “Yep, it’s looking for houses under $2 million.” (David Letterman)

Weather Eye II: “Bad news for Hurricane Hilary. According to the latest poll, it’s 12 points behind Hurricane Floyd.” (Letterman)

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Chris Pina’s Essential

Daily List

Signs a cop is corrupt:

* You’re pulled over by a Ferrari with a siren.

* Wants to see a picture ID, preferably a Hamilton or a Franklin.

* Gives you a ticket with the option to go to drug traffic school.

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.