MOCK MADNESS

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AUTOMATIC BIDS

Arizona (26-6): Pac-10: Steals No. 1 in West and packs for Salt Lake City.

St. John’s (24-7): Big East: Think Barkley will want to play?

Temple (26-5): Atlantic 10: Owls can make case for No. 1 in South.

Saint Louis (19-13): Conference USA: Lorenzo Romar pulls off a minor miracle.

Hofstra (24-6): America East: Flying Dutchmen take flying leap into tournament.

Winthrop (21-8): Big South: Packer troubled because this was once a “girly” college.

N.C. Wilmington (18-12): Colonial Athletic: Guard Brett Blizzard makes all-name team.

Iona (20-10): Metro Atlantic: Beat out Metro’s five-letter school, Siena.

Ball State (22-8): MAC: Letterman has 10 reasons why his alma mater has no shot!

Valparaiso (19-12): Mid-Continent: Too bad Bryce Drew is out of eligibility.

South Carolina St. (20-13): Mid-Eastern: Won regular-season and tournament titles.

Butler (23-7): Midwestern Collegiate: Headline if team wins a game: “Butler Did It!”

Central Connecticut St. (25-5): Northeast: How do they fit the name on the unis?

SE Missouri (24-6): Ohio Valley: SEMO? Sounds like a health maintenance program.

Lafayette (24-6): Patriot: Not to be confused with Louisiana Lafayette.

Appalachian St. (23-8): Southern: Oh to be fly on wall in Buzz Peterson’s locker room.

Lamar (15-15): Southland: Locked up bid with win over Northwestern State.

Jackson St. (17-15): Southwestern Athletic: Clinched berth with win over Southern.

La. Lafayette (25-8): Sunbelt: Sorry, still Southwestern La. in our hearts.

Samford (21-10): Trans America: ESPN punsters brushing up on Redd Foxx jokes.

Gonzaga (24-8): WCC: Look out, here come another batch of Bing Crosby stories.

Creighton (23-9): Missouri Valley: Sources say it’s somewhere in Nebraska.

Pennsylvania (21-7): Ivy: Smart money says don’t underestimate these brainiacs.

Northern Arizona (20-10): Big Sky: Lumberjacks chop down Matadors’ hopes.

Utah State (28-5): Big West: Aggies appear ready to Rock and Rolle in tournament.

ACC: 10 a.m. today; Edge to Duke (26-4) over Maryland (24-8), but both are in.

SEC: 10 a.m. today: Arkansas (18-14) needs to beat Auburn (23-8) to get in.

Big 12: Noon today: Look for Oklahoma (26-5) to beat Iowa St. (28-4). Both are in.

Big Ten: 12:30 today: It should be Michigan St. (25-7) over Illinois (22-8). Both are in.

AT-LARGE

Maryland (24-8): Shows flashes of being a Final Four team.

North Carolina (18-13): Undeserving Tar Heels receive lifetime achievement bid.

Virginia (19-11): Put the Cavaliers back on our list after victory over Maryland.

Kentucky (22-9): Wildcat fans happily welcome 63 other teams to their tournament.

Tennessee (24-6): May be Hee Haw Hell to pay after Volunteers’ SEC tourney loss.

Louisiana State (26-5): Brady hires G. Gordon Liddy to do tournament bed checks.

Florida (24-7): It’s a bad sign if you can’t beat Auburn without Porter.

Vanderbilt (19-10): Commodores hitch a ride on the conference power train.

Auburn (23-8): Without Porter, team has lost NCAA appeal.

Stanford (26-3): Might still get No. 1 seeding in the South by default.

UCLA (19-11): Enters tournament on six-game winning streak.

Oregon (21-7): Last week’s victory over Arizona shakes team from malaise.

Cincinnati (28-3): Huggins wants to know if Kurt Warner has ever played center.

Louisville (19-11): Early exit in conference tournament should be a concern.

DePaul (21-11): Choke against Saint Louis.

Ohio State (22-6): Loss to Penn State in conference tournament is costly.

Indiana (20-8): General’s report: Knight’s Hoosiers are 4-9 in March since 1997.

Illinois (21-8): Don’t be shocked if Illini push Michigan State to the brink.

Purdue (21-9): Keady pulls rest of hair out after lackluster loss to Wisconsin.

Wisconsin (18-13): Here’s hoping Badgers score more than 32 points this year.

Syracuse (24-5): Team prepares for NCAA fold with loss to Georgetown.

Connecticut (24-9): Huskies the team to beat until, well, we say so.

Seton Hall (20-9): Team stops Billy Packer and asks to see his hall pass.

Miami (21-10): Forget the humidity; NCAA berth is no sweat.

Texas (23-8): Will loss to Oklahoma knock Longhorns to a No. 4 seeding?

Iowa State (28-4): You’ll be hearing a lot about Marcus Fizer.

Kansas (23-9): The NCAA book on team would be titled “Low Expectations.”

Utah (22-8): Has looked out of WAC since joining Mountain West.

Nevada Las Vegas (23-7): Runnin’ Rebels impressive in tournament final.

Tulsa (29-3): Leads nation in victories and cheap-shot jokes.

Fresno State (23-9): Take a load off, Tark, you’re back in the NC-Two-A’s.

Dayton (22-8): Win over Kentucky trumps A-10 loss to St. Bonaventure.

Pepperdine (24-8): Team catches last wave in to the field of 64.

Indiana State (22-9): Sorry, no forwards named Bird on this roster.

St. Bonaventure (21-9): We like wins over Temple, Dayton and Xavier.