CHRIS DUFRESNE’S TOP 25

1. Nebraska (2-0) Rankman hates it when he has to put the best team No. 1.

2. Florida State (3-0) Team will be fine as long as staff keeps the headset away from Bowden.

3. UCLA (3-0) Bruins treated for the bends after rapid ascent in poll waters.

4. Virginia Tech (3-0) Hokies use bye week to edit Michael Vick’s highlight reel.

5. Washington (3-0) Neuheisel overheard singing John Denver lyric, “Rocky Mountain High, Colorado.”

6. Florida (3-0) Spurrier bans players from talking to media but not himself?

7. USC (2-0) Finally, with San Jose State, Trojans play team with winning record.

8. Wisconsin (3-0) Wise old sage once said, “If the shoe fits, wear it.”

9. Texas (1-1) No shame losing to school that has produced half of all U.S. Olympians.

10. Michigan (2-1) QB threw last pass vs. UCLA into Navarre-Navarre land.

11. Kansas State (3-0) Bill Snyder ticketed for going 76-0 in a 55-0 zone.

12. Clemson (3-0) Tommy has outscored daddy’s team, 155 to 118, through three games.

13. Ohio State (3-0) Great chance to work in the subs this week vs. Penn State.

14. Tennessee (1-1) Last-second loss to Florida sicker than those orange uniforms.

15. Oklahoma (2-0) Pardon the pun and our dust, but this is a well-oiled machine.

16. Notre Dame (2-1) Fitzgerald descendant starts work on “The Great Godsey.”

17. Miami (1-1) Is it Hurricane season or is Miami just all wet?

18. Texas Christian (2-0) As Elvis used to say, TCU is just TCB (taking care of business).

19. Auburn (3-0) It’s not just a hair color anymore, it’s a football team!

20. Illinois (3-0) To show he means business, Redskin owner fires Ron Turner. 21. Purdue (2-1) While in South Bend, Brees picks up brochure for Gary Godsey’s passing camp.

22. Southern Mississippi (1-1) Coach still seething after team allows Alabama a couple of first downs.

23. South Carolina (3-0) Confederate flag at statehouse replaced with Lou Holtz banner.

24. Texas Tech (4-0) School trying to play entire schedule in September.

25. Oregon (2-1) Banana peels just arrived at Autzen Stadium for big UCLA showdown.