THE TIMES’ RANKINGS

Chris Dufresne’s Top 25 college football rankings and comments

1. Oregon (0-0) Ducks host Badgers this Saturday on “Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.”

2. Oregon State (0-0) Hey, no raisin jokes. Did you see Fresno State against Colorado?

3. Texas (0-0) Looks great on paper, but so does your 401k.

4. Oklahoma (1-0) Trying to shake off bitter, 13-0 second-half defeat to North Carolina.

5. Miami (0-0) Paterno politely tells Coker “no autographs before the game.”

6. Florida (0-0) Spurrier finally decides on a quarterback, now, what’s for lunch?

7. Nebraska (1-0) Please, a few rounds of claps for I-back Thunder Collins.

8. Florida State (0-0) Opener at Duke more like a full-contact scrimmage.

9. Virginia Tech (0-0) Out to prove it was more than Vick that made team tick.

10. Tennessee (0-0) Plans to increase stadium capacity to 300,000 by 2010.

11. UCLA (0-0) Remember what happened last time team took high hopes into humid south.

12. Kansas State (0-0) Ripley’s factoid: still looking for first conference title since 1934.

13. Washington (0-0) Massive DT Larry Tripplett plays more like a quadruplet.

14. Georgia Tech (1-0) Um, 13 points isn’t going to cut it in Tallahassee.

15. Notre Dame (0-0) Good luck poaching tickets at Nebraska on Sept. 8.

16. Michigan (0-0) Team takes fairy-tale QB journey to Navarre-Navarre land.

17. Louisiana State (0-0) QB Rohan Davey wants to win for all the “Rohans” out there.

18. Clemson (0-0) Opens season against the one Florida you’d like to face (Central).

19. Mississippi State (0-0) DB Pig Prather makes several preseason All-Slop teams.

20. Northwestern (0-0) Voted most likely to end up as a subject on “Nightline.”

21. South Carolina (0-0) Seems like days now since Derek Watson got in trouble.

22. Nevada Las Vegas (0-0) Robinson opens season between Little Rock and a hard place.

23. USC (0-0) Garrett graciously invites Seattle Mariner Al Martin to 1986 team reunion.

24. Alabama (0-0) UCLA, have y’all met our state troopers?

25. Fresno State (1-0) Tark says he really likes this team’s NC-2A chances.