In a Show of Honesty, a Panhandler Trades the Tin Cup for a Beer Stein

I’ve mentioned recent approaches by high-tech panhandlers, including one who asked a driver if he could “spare some cell minutes” and another whose sign read, “www.any sparechange.com.”

But old-fashioned appeals survive. Cliff and Phyllis Kirst of Glendale spotted a street person with a sign that admitted, “I won’t lie. I need beer.”

Speaking of handouts: In the latest issue of FHM magazine, Heidi Fleiss, once known as the Madam to the Stars, was asked by an interviewer about big tips her workers received.

“The men gave huge gifts,” she said. “One girl got two apartment buildings completely paid off, no mortgage. Now they’re income for her. She owns apartment buildings!”

Fleiss added that she didn’t get so much as an apartment parking space as a cut.

Such a deal: Some questionable offers uncovered by readers (see accompanying):

* A copy shop sale colored by a strange qualification (Harriet Walther of Santa Ana).

* A mattress price that any buyer would find uncomfortable (Harry Hultine of La Canada Flintridge).

* A not-so “bonus” buy (Ana Tiburzio of Arcadia).

* And one city’s free seminar, which would cost most attendees a lot of sleep (Rose and John Orcutt of Carson).

Unclear on the concept: The L.A. Independent’s crime blotter says a police officer pulled up behind a disabled vehicle on a Culver City street and spoke to the driver, at which time a passing car sideswiped the officer’s motorcycle and sped on.

The officer caught up with and pulled over the second driver and asked for her driver’s license.

She asked why. The officer told her she had struck his bike.

“No, I didn’t,” she said. “You hit me.”

Name game: As for my list of transportation types who have appropriate names, Ray Paul Klimek of Sherman Oaks says I forgot the traffic reporter on KLSX-FM (97.1): Tory Signal.

Hot air (cont.): To our list of curious statements by TV newscasters, Joe Dymkowski of Santa Ana would add this declaration by one anchor: “The conference will begin in 30 minutes Eastern time.”

miscelLAny: In the appearance-is-everything category, Werner Haas of West Hollywood noticed an ad for a piano sale that mentioned that financing was available on “sight.” Responded Haas: “If my credit would be questioned because I was not well-groomed enough, I guess I’ll just have to listen to recordings.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012; and by e-mail at [email protected].