Making Sense of Recall Isn’t Kid Stuff

Dad: Something on your mind, pal? Things seem a little topsy-

turvy?

(His son, 8, shifted lethargically at the breakfast table and continued to idly stir his Cheerios in a bowl of milk. His dad hadn’t seen him this pensive since that day a few months ago when he found his missing frog under a sofa cushion in the family room. The frog hadn’t survived the experience, and the boy had needed some soothing words and a chocolate sundae.)

Dad: Are you still thinking about Hopper? He was a terrific frog. We all miss him.

Son: Nah, I got over that. It’s just that, well, this governor thing kind of makes me wonder what’s going on.

Dad: We can talk about it.

Son (blurting out): I mean, is it fair? Just because you don’t like somebody, should you fire them and try and make them feel bad?

Dad: Well, the law says that if you get enough signatures....

Son: Remember that time Mom said you were a big fat loser and she wanted a divorce? You said she was just overreacting because we didn’t have enough money and that you and she had an agreement to stay together.

Dad: I meant our wedding vows. This is a little different.

Son: I know, but didn’t the governor just get elected last year? Wasn’t that kind of the same thing? I thought you said people should stick to their commitments.

Dad: Well, circumstances sometimes change.

Son: You mean like when Uncle Fred dumped Aunt Louise for his secretary? You said she could be irritating but that Uncle Fred was thinking with his....

Dad: I know what I said, but you weren’t supposed to hear that. What I meant was that the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence. Do you know what that means?

Son: Yeah, it means Uncle Fred shouldn’t have moved in with a bimbo, right? What if he gets tired of her?

Dad: Well, he doesn’t think she’s a bimbo.

Son: Didn’t you say he just met her a month ago and doesn’t really know anything about her?

Dad: That’s true. But he seems to really like her.

Son: So just because you like somebody more, you should break the rules?

Dad: No one is breaking the rules, son. A recall election is legal. They have to get a bunch of signatures before they can have the election.

Son: Yeah, but you said we just had the election last year. People voted fair and square. I heard people on TV say that people are paid to get other people to sign petitions and they have a special way of doing it. And didn’t you always say that people will sign anything?

Dad (sighing): Yes, some will.

Son: Well, I don’t think it’s fair. What’s the point of having a regular election and then having another one? What if not as many people vote at the new one? Does the governor still lose his job?

Dad: Yes. Even if not too many people vote but he still loses, he gets thrown out.

Son: But what if only the people who really, really don’t like him show up to vote?

Dad: Then his goose is cooked.

Son: And then Arnold Schwarzenegger would be governor?

Dad: He could be.

Son: So if he wants to be governor so bad, how come he didn’t run for it last year?

Dad: Uh, I think he was making a movie.

Son: TV said the governor got 3 million votes last year. Does Arnold have to get more than that to win this time?

Dad: No, as long as he gets more than anyone else, he wins.

Son (after a short silence): But what if it’s like 500,000 or something?

Dad: Life isn’t always fair, and neither is politics. Any other questions?

Son: Yeah. Where do babies come from?

*

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. He can be reached at [email protected].