Everywhere You Look, Traffic Is Hazardous to Your Temper

You know how jammed the lanes of traffic are here -- and how violence can erupt. Well, a man was punched in Manhattan Beach the other day by an assailant “who felt the victim cut him off,” the Beach Reporter said. Only unusual thing was that the near-collision occurred in a watery lane and involved surfers.

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If only there were havens like these for surfers: John Anderson found a therapeutic street in Upland for road-ragers (see photo).

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That beach lifestyle: The idea that waterfront shops have absolutely no dress standards is a myth, as Jackson Sleet discovered in Hermosa Beach (see photo).

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Pollution reminder? The mysterious Janet O of Santa Monica, as she identifies herself, spotted a sign that expressed what environmentalists have been saying about the ocean for years (see photo).

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Couch potatoes be warned: One of the items in a recent auction was a pitiless sofa (see accompanying), points out Victor Moran of Northridge. Must be the same brand I have. Whenever I pass out in mine while watching TV, it always retaliates by giving me a stiff neck.(Moran figures the seller was referring to crewel embroidery.)

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Pumping bad vibes: Michael Ferraro of the L.A. Downtown News listed his nominations for most annoying workout types in a gym:

* “Attention-seeking cretins who fill the room with guttural grunts of overexertion.”

* “Steroids-in-stereo types who warble along to their Walkman workout soundtracks.”

* Meditators who plop down “on an exercise machine and then spend five minutes staring into space, causing an athletic SigAlert.”

* Those who “douse their neon Lycra [with] cologne and perfume ... as jarringly out of place here as Tommy Lasorda would be in a salad bar.”

Just reading about those folks, my neck began to stiffen.

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They were ID’d despite their masks: David Estes of San Clemente chanced upon an eerie police log item in the local Sun-Post about a resident hearing noises “out front, then at the side gate and then at the back of the house. The motion light went on in front.”

The newspaper added: “There is apparently an ongoing problem with raccoons.... Raccoons were advised and complied; they’ll try not to make so much noise.”

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miscelLAny: Addy Tatto of Valley Village writes: “You know that the Hollywood Bowl is a serious venue for classical music when it designates the best viewing/listening section in a KMZT contest giveaway as ‘Bach Seats.’ ”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at [email protected].