With This Promotion, Chevron’s PR Might Tank

Record gasoline prices had drivers downcast this year, but the oil companies were, of course, anything but grim.

In fact, Chevron, in a real display of sensitivity, has a toy promotion that shows a grinning tanker truck under the title “Tanks for the Smiles!” (see photo).

You’re not welcome.

Unclear on the concept: “Just what we need,” said Mary Stewart of Wilmington, regarding a notice from a landlord. “Make it easier to break in” (see accompanying).

Love and clogged pipes: I chanced upon a unique flier from a Long Beach plumber (see accompanying). While it’s true I once created a geyser worthy of Old Faithful while trying to remove a toilet seat, I can’t take him up on the promise. I’m already married.

No, cruise control wouldn’t work: In Illinois, Bruce Stark of Seal Beach saw a warning that drivers of nonamphibious vehicles might find alarming (see photo). The road leads to a ferry dock.

Disorder in the court!: The rest of the nation views L.A.’s justice system as somewhat wacky and that notion won’t be dispelled by the November issue of Harper’s Magazine.

The publication carried a partial transcript of a confrontation between Superior Court Judge Craig Veals and a sleepy prospective juror that The Times had reported earlier this year. It’s worth a second look:

Veals: You yawned rather audibly there. It was to the point that it was contemptuous, really.

Juror: I’m sorry, but I’m really bored.

Judge: I’m sorry?

Juror: I’m really bored.

Judge: OK. It’s getting worse. Your attitude is lousy. It really is bad. Well, I’ll tell you what. Your boredom just cost you $1,000. I’m finding you in contempt. And we’ll talk more about that at the end of the day.

(At the end of the day, Veals directs the juror to bring in a check for $1,000 made out to the “Superior Court, State of California.” The juror agrees and exits. Then the juror enters again.)

Juror: Can I ask just one thing? Do you guys take cash?

(The fine was later reduced to $100.)

miscelLAny: A laser surgery ad on the radio says, “Your eyes are in the capable hands of a doctor you can trust.” No matter how capable the doctor is, I think I’d rather keep my eyes in their sockets than in his hands.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at [email protected].